Why is it in our society that Mother’s are criticized when they are over protective?

My cousin has brought up this very same question on her blog……..http://www.theamazingtrips.com/ She made a decision about guns and her children and now it seems she feels the need to defend her “over protectiveness”.

This got me thinking……….What’s wrong here? What happened?

I, for one, am the NUMBER one over protective mother and I will not apologize for this. I am often criticized for the protective decisions I have made and make. For example; I not only home school, spend the night rarely happens in this house, we have never had a Bratz doll and I do not allow certain clothing for Barbie.

After shopping for dolls one year for Christmas I made a conscious decision to buy only American Girl Dolls for Kathryn. These dolls are all clothed according to time periods; they come with history books and moral lessons. And again more protectiveness on my part; I will not leave my 2 year old daughter home alone with her soon to be (gasp, gulp and sigh) 17 year old brother.

My son is very capable of baby sitting………However, I don’t want him too. I don’t want him to have to change her diaper. I do not want him to have to give her a bath. This is not because I don’t trust my son…..I do….I trust him very much…this decision was made simply because; I do not want to put him and my very young daughter in a position that he or she should not be in.

In my eyes, things happen in the best of families. I want to do my best to keep these things from happening. I see this as protecting both parties. I do not want her comfortable around the boys without clothes on and vice versa. None of my older children have ever changed the diaper of their little sister. None of them have even given her a bath. I never leave more then 2 kids home alone at a time. I look it all as I am their mother, they are the siblings. They do help but it is our job, as the parents, to do most of the work raising Mary Elizabeth.

As I have been struggling to get back to sleep tonight I watched a little TV. I watched a few minutes of Moray or one of those shows. It was about whose child is this or I’m not the dad or something stupid like that. I found myself deeply saddened ……looking at the beautiful innocent faces while the father of the children called their mother terrible names. Saying he was not the father, they don’t look like him or act like him and on and on……….Well, he was. As I turned the TV off I saw him saying to the mother of his children “I’m sorry baby.”


I was so sad for these children. Who is protecting the innocent? Who’s watching the store?

Why has our culture come to except such behavior and even worse find it all entertaining?

This made me think of another experience I had today;

I had the chance to see a mare and her new born foal. As my mother, daughters and I walked closer, the mother became nerves……she became over protective. She walked her baby behind the barn out of our site where she felt her baby was safe. She didn’t like us being there. She didn’t like me taking pictures. Maybe she didn’t like the language……..Who knows. She nervously took her baby out of the situation. Just like a good mother should.

Why do “we” find the need to apologize if one parent wants to home school and the other one does not like guns? Why are we all so offended because other GREAT mothers don’t like that show or they really worry if their kids are playing with those kids or like me are anti-spend the nighters, very picky about my daughters clothing, watch very carefully who any of my children find themselves friends with, and scared to death of my teenager driver? Why do we have to expose and throw them to the wolf because “they are going to see it one day anyway?” When has everything in our society become okay?

I am often called a prude, over protective, and laughed at for being the way I am…………I really don’t care.
My thoughts are more along the line of this Mare………..protect and shelter……..and don’t apologize. I just think it is our job as parents.

8 thoughts on “Over Protective…Right or Wrong?

  1. You’re the best!!!! Thanks so much for reading my old posts!!!! How did I rate to find such a wonderful friend like you!?!? God has blessed me indeed!!!!! BTW, you write so well that I would never have guessed that you ever had a moment of doubt~Janine XO


  2. Never Apologize! You expressed this so very well!! I wish more mothers were like you.I run a preschool/childcare in my home, and I have seen some of the worst parents that just didn’t get it, and I have seen how their children have grown up, then I have seen some excellent parents, over protective like you describe, except, i don’t feel it is over protective, it is just a parent doing their job, raising their children the best possible way.Excellent Post, in fact I liked this so much I had to read it to my hubby, he agrees! Excellent!!


  3. Gee Lisa, what a great post. If you saw Dr. Phil’s show today,wednesday, april 22 about Sandra Santau in Calif, you would never let your kids out of the house. Protect them all you can, always know where they are, you are so right on this blog.


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