It is October 30, 2009. Today it has been one month.

One month since. It is still so hard to believe.

I can’t tell you how many times I have gone to pick up the phone, headed up stairs or even started to go back to my parent’s bedroom to visit with my dad. Hearing the side door open and close by the garage always gets my attention. My first thought is Oh! Good, he is home…….And then I stop, take a breath, sigh and turn away.

I know, for my mother these feeling are a million times more.

Last Friday my mother and Stephen paid a visit to the mortuary and picked up the urn that holds my father’s ashes. It seems to bring my mother comfort….just having him home again. I know it brings me comfort.

The Urn could not be more beautiful. It sits on my mother’s dresser while it waits for its final resting place by the pool. For now, Just seeing it gives us great comfort. We can walk out of our way, touch it gently and softly whisper….”I love you.”

Last Saturday Auntie wanted to have a little party. She thought it would be nice if we all got together to just have lunch and celebrate. Reluctantly, we all said….”okay”….but thought… What in the world could we be celebrating?

Everyone made something for the lunch. Karen and Mary Elizabeth set the tables with decorations.

Auntie came in with Jim along with their big smiles and all types of goodies she had wiped up . When we asked what we were celebrating……. Auntie said “Fall” It is a beautiful time of year here in the country and we should celebrate Fall.”

In good old auntie fashion she knew……We needed a party. She knew the thoughts of celebrating Thanks Giving, Christmas and even Halloween weighed heavily on us.

She knows we celebrate life. We will celebrate almost every occasion. “If you can bake it we will come.” That is our family policy…

She knew we needed her to have the party, to let us know it was okay. She knew we needed her to show us we could do this.

I hope she knows just how much we all think of her.

She supports. I guess it takes times like these to understand there are doers and there are talkers. I have learned this month…..these past months….If your “friends” don’t support you through the bad times…through the worst times in your life….Who needs them to come to the party?

I have a lot of great friends and even more wonderful family members…Like Auntie.

We have been busy in school this week studying. We are trying to get back into a real school grove. But, it is very hard…..We are trying.

Thank goodness we have debate….This years debate topic is ~ Should the US Environmental Policy be Reformed. This is not a simple question….Stephen has taken an great interest in coal slurry and how it is poisoning the water supplies and killing the people of West Virginia. It always amazes and out-rages me when I learn making money is allowed to get in the way of peoples health.

To think this is happening in this country is just mind boggling to me.

Kathryn has had to research Health Care Reform Bill, cash for clunkers and the dangers of cell phone use while driving for her speech class. I think we are going to actually learn something this year in spite of all that has happened.

Matthew is studying so very hard ~ When he is stressed, upset or just confused he reads. He is taking the loss of his grandfather very hard. He does not cry…I just see him with his head down and his face tight…He handles stress just like his father.

Matthew tells me when he goes to “the” house he feels lost….He walks around looking for something to do. So he and Stephen work on the fountain and other pool related things. Just like there grandfather has taught them to do.

Today we celebrate a Mass for my father given by the woman at the co-op and the “Little Flowers group Kathryn belongs too. For some reason I am worried about this one too…Just the thought of hearing his name makes me want to cry. I hope I don’t.

Tomorrow we celebrate Halloween. Margaret and I will take the little kids out for their Trick or Treating fun and then we will all go to Bill’s house for a bonfire…and a Halloween party.

Next week we have Stephen’s conformation and then of course another celebration.

…I need to start taking more pictures again…

I know we can do these celebrations. Auntie showed us it was alright…She showed we can.

Thanks Auntie ~ What would we do without you?

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7 thoughts on “And Another Celebration

  1. Thank you Auntie!! Your right Lisa she's awesome – I'm so glad she's been such a big part of our lives for almost 20 + years! And thanks to our wonderful group of girlfriends who have taken care of our entire family by bringing delicious desserts, meals, calling, e-mailing to check in us and even cleaning our Mother's house!!!! How fortunate we are to have such wonderful people in our lives who have blessed us so richly!! And most of all thanks to our amazing Mother who has loved our Father so much – It was and is such an honor as one of thier children. How lucky we have been to be a part of thier history. And thanks to you for sharing it. Cute picture of the kids. Love, Marg.

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  2. Nice post "Leese". It's a little like learning to walk all over again. You're going to fall and it's going to hurt sometimes. Just know that friends and family (like Auntie) will always be close to help you get up again.And feed you chocolate. Always.XOXO

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  3. As you gradually return to celebrations, it is also OK to cry. I have a booklet called the BALCONY PEOPLE by Joyce Landorf Heatherley. It was recommended to me when I had kidney cancer. I am a 13 year survivor but I want to be a balcony person who as you put it are doers who lift people up. I passed my first one on to someone who needed it. It helped me understand a lot of things.I am re-reading in and will post a short review. It is copyrighted so I have to be careful. However there is an anonymous poem that really says it all so I think I can use that.

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  4. I know that my mom really enjoyed being there with you. I wish I could be there, too. Mom is a great cook and she always brings the life to a party!! Maggie – what do you mean she's been a big part of your life for 20+ years? I've been in California for almost 20 years. We've been a big part of your life for over THIRTY years! Tough to believe that much time has passed. In so many ways, it seems like – just yesterday…

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  5. Dearest Lisa…has it been that long? It doesn't seem it could possibly be…Oh, my dear friend…you will look for him for a very long time…it's so hard…I love you…and I'm praying…AND I'm so glad that you have such a wonderful Aunt who helps you find a way to celebrate life and family…it's a breath of fresh, happy air during a most difficult time!!!! Praying that those moments come more and more frequently for all of you!!!! Love, Janine XO

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  6. I am sorry for your loss……just remember that he will always be with you and a part of you. Loved ones are never truly gone, they have just gone a journey that we will eventually meet up with them on again someday:)

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