So anyway, I was talking to a group of woman I know from the Co-op I take the girls to. We were talking about things we would like to see our older daughters do to reach out and help others. The leader of the group came up with taking the girls down to the local soup kitchen and letting them make sandwiches for people in need there.

Wow! That is a good idea we all agreed.

We talked about getting the girls down to the shelter on a weekday. I told one of the moms I would be happy to take her daughter…She asked me if I could take just a few more girls….. I told her …..No, I couldn’t. I don’t have the room in my car. I would have Mary Elizabeth and maybe Stephen.

She then said…..”Oh! You would NOT have him baby sit?” My response was simple…….”No, my older kids never baby sit her.”

She says……..OH????

I go on to explain how very good they are to her and yes they are more then capable. I just don’t see a need for it and really…..these are my biggest reasons:

First, I do not want to get into the habit of making my babysitting issues the older kids problem. Then the big one……The potty…..I do not want Mary Elizabeth comfortable with just anyone touching her bottom. Her brothers and sister have never taken care of that. It is totally my job, I said. I do not want any of these kids that comfortable with each other.

She says………”Your such a good mom…..I never thought of that.”

This made me feel REALLY good. This woman has 7 maybe 9 children and she is calling ME a good mom.

So that day I am cruising along….. thinking about how totally awesome I am…..and What a Good Mom I am not to have my older children baby sit.

I pick up Matthew at 6 P.M. from his Anatomy Class…….Driving towards home Mark calls. He tells me he wants to take everyone to see Carroll Brown sing at the local Irish Pub in Spartanburg.

We have been there before and we both thought it would be a nice night for everyone. There are people there of all ages and it is kind of like an Applebee’s or even a Ruby Tuesday’s.

But with live music.

We talked about some more. We decided I should just go home and see how things go. He takes Kathryn to basketball practice. Liz took a nice long nap in the car on the way home…..and I figure……Well, Kathryn and the boys will really like it…….Liz will be up until 12 now anyway.

We should go.

It was great! We had a great time….ALL the kids really enjoyed the night.

Carroll came over to our table: talked to us, told us how awesome we were for taking our kids out to see him and how much he really appreciates it. He even dedicated a song to us…..The Voyage…a love song. He dedicates a song to Mary Elizabeth and we are feeling really good about ourselves.

I take a deep breath and before we leave I take Liz to the potty.

Okay, here is where IT happens:

This VERY, VERY drunk woman staggers into the bathroom. She is STUMBLING all over her very nice shoes.

I think to myself…….I better get this kids hands washed and get her out of here. As I am rushing through the hand washing I hear…..A DULL

THUMP

I keep washing Liz’s hands and think to myself…….”Did she fall????”

I look over my shoulder and around the wall.

To my great surprise I see this NAKED BOTTOM lying curdled up sideways on the floor….Pants down around the knees and very nice shoes.

All I can say is …………IDIOT

Wouldn’t you know….I’m without my camera

I turn off the water at the sink, take my daughter’s hand and walk towards the door…To leave.

I think…. Is she hurt???? Then I see the Naked A@@ get up on her knees…….never saying a word….never mooning…and then “IT” lies back down to what I think was to go to sleep or pass out…..HALF NAKED right in front of the stall door.

To think of it now……..I think she must have thought the toilet was by door and when she went to sit down….she missed by maybe two feet.

I walk out and say……..”SLOB”…….over my shoulder.

I go past a waitress and tell her she needs to get the manager to go into that bathroom and check things out. I never tell her what is in there. I just want to get my kids out of this….BAR!

I hear the waitress I told laughing nervously asking another waitress to help her with the “HALF Naked Drunk” passed out in the bathroom.

All I could think of was Kathryn might want to make a potty run before we headed home for the 50 minute drive….AND what a great surprise she would walk into.

I don’t tell Mark what happened until the next morning………..I was still in shock…..I scold him in away telling him…….”If we are every going to do that again we have to go EARLY!

My poor babies!!! I was called “Such a Good Mom” yesterday. how could he do this to me???

It wasn’t until I started telling my mother all about being mooned by the drunk did I see the humor in the night…….Now I can’t stop laughing about it all……..THE Naked bottom……my reaction of walking out of the bathroom only offering my opinion and NO help…..the comment made to me about being a good mom…blaming Mark and then not finding all this funny until I tried to tell someone else.

Gee, I wonder if the woman that called me a good mom would still think so after reading this……..I don’t think anyone from the co-op even know about this blog…… .

Shhhhhhhh…..Let’s not tell them

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh! ……..Don’t forget to sign the petition and/or write a letter to your local Senator and Congress man about Lung Cancer Research….It is now in the US House and Senate.

You can go here to sign the petition or even write a letter…..You can click here….or here or ever here.

Lung cancer kills:

* More people than breast, prostate, colon, liver, kidney, and melanoma cancers… COMBINED.

Staggering but All too true…..Sadly, we know. You don’t even have to smoke or live with smokers to get it.

You can click here if you still need too…….It really is important……. to all of us.

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13 thoughts on “THUMP

  1. Hysterical! Lisa! Where did you hide your funny bone?? See the difference between you and I is that I WOULD have had my camera with me….and it WOULD have been on You Tube by now. That story made my week. Ha ha ha!! LOLXOXO AM

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  2. I am still laughing. Reminds me of the one and only time I have totally been drunk, after trying to match my husband drink for drink. I spent half the night home on the floor as the bed had somehow been mounted on a flywheel while we were away. It spun and spun. Plus the rest of the night was spent in the bathroom . Sorry I won't furnish any more details. I became a tee-totaller that night.

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  3. LOL!! You have me laughing so hard. As I was reading, all I was doing is nodding my head the whole time. You are an excellent mom, then the hysterical story of the woman came next. I think you handled yourself well.Hugs to you my friend.

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  4. When you came in that day to tell me about it, I almost died laughing and you were so serious, the next time you go to that pub I want to go with you. I could just see it in my own mind, I am still laughing. But…poor thing Auntie would have helped her up

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  5. I agree that I think it is annoying when families with older kids have to practically raise the little ones. That is ridiculous. If you can't raise your kids yourself, perhaps you shouldn't have them…. just a thought : )Sorry about your crazy experience. Drunk people do the most wacky things. I don't know how they survive!

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  6. I'm sorry you had to run into that..but I am laughing my own fully clothes butt off here.My gosh. What time was it that the woman with the nice shoes was that drunk?..Re. older kids babysitting littles..I am guilty. My boys have been raised very responsibly and also an older foster daughter used to babysit. (she got paid) The boys will get paid too. The catch…the children are almost ALWAYS sleeping before we leave. We have to do it that way…meds, diapers, snacks..the boys don't do any of that. I agree with you re. the bathroom privacy. My kids are all now potty trained…(except Joe) None of my boys have ever had to change them. However we did have sitters that did. I would go totally nutso if I didn't get out once in awhile and by golly, if it means my son has to stay home one night out of six weeks, so be it.

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