* Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street and said, “Lady, I haven’t eaten in three days.” “Force yourself,” she replied.
* The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill so the doctor gave him another six months.
* Doctor: “You’ll live to be 60!” Patient: “I am 60!” Doctor: “See! What did I tell you? That’ll be 60 dollars”
* A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, “You’ve been brought here for drinking.” The drunk says “Okay, let’s get started.”
* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, “Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. ” Mrs. Cohen answered, “So did my arthritis!”
* A man calls his mother in Florida,”Mom, how are you?” ” Not too good,” says the mother. “I’ve been very weak.” The son says, “Why are you so weak?” She replies, “Because I haven’t eaten in 38 Days.” The son says, “That’s terrible. Why haven’t you eaten in 38 days?” The mother answers, “Because I didn’t want my mouth to be filled with food should you call.”
* How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? (Sigh) “Don’t bother. I’ll sit in the dark. I don’t want to be a nuisance to anybody.”
:: THIS OR THAT THURSDAY ::